Tuesday, July 31, 2012

So long, and thanks for all the fish...

It's been so long... I haven't been here and my two and a half loyal readers would have almost missed me sometimes... this is just to say that I'm alive... I'm here and I love all the two and a half of you. It was a long overdue trip home which left me too exhausted to think as I flew across four cities in exactly nine days. Yes there should be pictures and descriptions of everyone that I met but there isn't going to be. I'm still exhausted... and I know that my two and half readers who know and love me will completely understand.

It's night time and the moon shines outside. No I can't see it but I know that it's there and sometimes that's enough. A song plays... hear it...


Fix you

By Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Beautiful and doomed

Sinead O' Connor is a woman that comes and goes in and out of my life on a whim. I have a strong suspicion that she probably does pretty much everything on a whim in her life. I remember when I was in Bombay many years ago I discovered her purely by chance. It was a time of CDs and one didn't download music. I picked up her Best of Cd simply because I wanted to hear the song 'Nothing compares to you'. It's just one of those songs that my friends would be sure that I would love and they would not be wrong. I remember I got the CD home and as is my habit I always listen to the whole CD at least once before I decide that only the one song was worth it or there's more to the artist.

I listened to it and it was somehow a very angry woman screaming her lungs out and seemed almost in tears when she sang. It disturbed me somehow. I avoided the rest of the songs for the longest time. Then as circumstances went along and I went through a particularly trying time in my life I let the other songs walk in to my mind.  The first one I listened to many times is called 'Thank you for hearing me'. It begins as though a woman filled with gratitude thanks someone for many things till the anger and passion rises in her voice and she thanks him  (I'm guessing) for 'breaking my heart and tearing me apart'. Similarly I loved 'Stretched on your grave'. I listened to her songs over and over again for months those days and people who lived with me had to bear with Sinead screaming her little heart out on maximum volume. All I really had those days was music and I wasn't allowing anyone to take it away from me.

Then life changed and she walked out of my life one day without me realising it. I did try to hear her songs sometimes for the last few years but I could never hear even one complete song. She is disturbing because she feels so deeply and sings every time as though it is the last time and as though she is doomed forever. I recently saw a picture of her with Jesus tattooed on her chest. She seemed like a shadow of her old self. She has gained weight and seems to have faded into obscurity. When artists live with the depth of emotions as cruel as hers it reflects in their art. Somewhere within their soul they know that they are doomed and it makes them beautiful.

I can never forget the first time I saw her face in the video of 'Nothing compares to you'. Beautiful baby blue eyes, the perfect skin, lips and bald head. The single tear the escaped her cheek as she sang made me want to cry for her pain. Artists like that inject a storm into the psyche and leave devastation in their wake which is almost beautiful like death might be. Sinead is special and today she walked back into my life ever so suddenly just like she had walked out once with this song written by Bono. Hear it and may be you can see her beauty.

You made me the thief of your heart
Sinead O'Connor


I hope you're happy now..
I could never make you so...
You were a hard man...
No harder in this world
You made me cold, you made me hard
And you made me the
Thief of your heart

Winter is cold...oh!
But you're colder still
And for the first time
I feel like you're mine
I'll share you with the one who will
Mend what falls apart and turn
A blind eye to the thief of your heart

I'll never wash these clothes
I want to keep the stain
Your blood to me is precious
Nor would I spill it in vain.
Your spirit sings
Though your lips never part
Singing only to me
The thief of your heart

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


The wonderful people at L'Occitane sent us these. There were two more big cologne bottles which I shared with the girls in the office. Bhavnaa is happy with the rose moisturiser. The little bottle is the perfume which Claudia created and eventually ended up not liking. Well I loved it so I'm keepin' it. It's called Eau de Claudz to make it a bit avant garde in Claudia's words. Man I love this office.

Saturday, July 07, 2012

IIFA Screening Event

So yesterday night was quite fun and interesting. I attended an event which was basically the screening of the IIFA awards which were held in Singapore. The whole programme will be aired on TV today. I had been sick the previous day and was unsure if I would be able to attend but thankfully I woke up in the morning with the fever gone and decided why not. It would be fun and it was.

It was a formal event so needed to dress up and get the stilettos out. I own one black pair which is quite enough to give my toes the kind of exercise they would rather avoid. The good part is that when I wear them I get to be slightly taller than my husband. I like that. Although with his characteristic humour when I was walking home and decided to get out of the heels he smiled and said," Arey! you became Govinda from Amitabh Bachchan." Yes if you don't know by now let me say it again he is hilarious.

But I digress as always. So as we were driving to the event Anshuman decided to use the GPS woman who annoyed me to no end by telling us to take left when that would have meant banging into the wall. I will never get myself a GPS woman. He took a wrong turn and when you do that in Dubai it means spending a good amount of time getting back to the right one. I had accidentally put on the perfume I most dislike by mistake and was not very happy about that. Other than that all was well.

So we reached and saw that there was a green carpet. I don't know why it was green instead of the traditional red. Our invites were at the reception and we didn't get to see them as the man kept them as required. I walked in to see two winged angels meaning two Russian looking statuesque women with black feathered wings attached to their backs. I moved on and caught up with my friend while my husband headed directly for the bar and was seen off and on lovingly holding his whiskey.

Then I laid my eyes on two men who were dressed as felines I think with black and white stripes with parts of their costume missing. I'm guessing a fight over territory. People were taking pictures with them and I knew I had to get one of myself with them. So I did and Anshuman promptly uploaded it to Facebook. Since this computer is a bit wonky I am unable to post the picture here. Will try to do that later. OK managed it as you can see!

I ran into someone I know. She is a mother of two and absolutely does not look like it. She recently started a salon and did the hair and make up for the event. She wore the exact same colour dress as I did only hers had ruffles. I can never wear a dress with ruffles unless I lose about 10 kgs which I doubt that I will. I'm pretty happy the way I am. I was happy even when I weighed 10 kgs more but then diabetes hit and I had to lose weight. People ask me all the time if I went on a diet. I'm against fad diets. Well I had to quit sugar, rice and potatoes but that's the point I HAD to. Given a choice I would still be my pleasantly fat self.

There was a woman in a red dress. Her hair was piled up on her head and somehow fluffed up in a way that I was sure that if I put a finger in her hair a bird would bite me maliciously. I know I'm being bitchy but I just can't help it. Sometimes you feel like going up to a person and asking them,"Really?"

And then Geeta Basra walked in. Lovely looking woman in a yellow blingy dress. She is a model/actress whose name I couldn't remember and had to ask one of Anshuman's friends who happens to work for a TV channel and was there to cover the event. The man with her designed the dress she is wearing. Unfortunately I couldn't understand exactly what his name is.

People from the Indian community kept pouring in and getting their picture taken. I also got my picture taken at the green carpet but the lights were so bright that my face went completely white and I looked like a ghost from the long gone past in a blue dress so I am not putting up that picture. If 20 people comment on this post asking me to put up that picture then I will. Hah! like that's ever gonna happen.

And yes I must talk about the decor which as I learnt was done by Magic (pronounced as Majiic the French way)  The sofas were cream coloured. There was a picture of Audrey Hepburn. There was a wedding dress, a red dress and man's jacket on headless mannequins and old Hollywood movies were being projected on the wall. At the far end of the room there was a giant Buddha statue set off by candles and blue chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Throw in the black feathered angels and feline men in striped leotards with cats makeup and what you definitely have is atmosphere which is somehow an Asian/ Hollywood version of Cirque du soir.

Nitin Mirani a comedian who owns Comicsutra was the MC along with two RJs and a woman called Shadab. She was introduced as 'our very own Shadab' many times but I have no idea whose Shadab she is. Lovely girl with a light bulb smile. They cracked some jokes and Nitin seemed visibly upset because we Indians are stingy with our applause. The jokes included impersonations of well known Bollywood celebs as expected. One was quite good but I now forget who it was.

Finally the screening of the IIFA awards started on the giant screen. Three seconds in to the screening there was a technical glitch and it had to be started again. Standard event organizer's nightmare. Farhan Akhtar and Shahid Kapoor are quite the funny pair but I loved Boman Irani's contribution. Bipasha came out of a cake and did the Chikni Chameli dance but she can't move like Katrina. Hot nevertheless having been slathered in body butter. Then Nitin Mirani came back and announced that a designer whose name I can't pronounce or remember would be debuting his collection.
That's when buff bodied male models began strutting the catwalk dressed in sometimes Jodhpurs and sometimes tight pants wearing a plethora of quite well designed Jackets. The mood of the collection was formal with a subtle touch of India. The designer chose his fabrics well and played with them expertly. All the garments fit the models well and one could see the heart and passion that had gone into each piece. I especially liked Nitin Mirani's jacket of which I do not have an image.
I was right up there in front with the photographers taking pictures on my little trusted Philips camera and was soon told to sit down as I was blocking everyone's view which is when I realised why all the photographers were crouching on the floor. So I crouched as well and took my low angle pictures.
 The IIFA screening continued and Shahid Kapoor danced well while Prabhu Deva did it better. Ranbir Kapoor and Rishi Kapoor danced with Monty silver Jackets from Karz. Fun yes! Then Nitin Mirani came back and announced that a designer called Masaba would be showcasing her collection inspired by the IIFA colours. It turned out that they were all warm colours with a generous lining of gold zari.
The models often came up wearing red and orange coloured sari like things with a black and white printed pallu which did not make any design sense to me. The designer is a young girl who seems very sweet and I hate to be harsh but the seam of one of the garments had come off and thread was hanging from it. It literally seemed like coloured cloth which fit the theme of IIFA had been carelessly draped around an East European model and asked to walk the ramp. More often than not the clothes didn't fit the bodies and hung loose on thin frames which is sacrilege in a fashion show. The only time she showed any small measure of promise was when she flattered the form with traditional Indian lenhgas and bustiere (choli). So Masaba has a long way to go. She needs to go back to school and learn the art of draping from someone who knows and understand that perfect finish and fit are the very basics of a good garment. That said I reiterate the designer seemed very young and hopefully will learn as she goes along.
Ms Kangana Ranaut was the show stopper and she made an appearance for exactly 100 seconds. She catwalks wonderfully and is very pretty. She wore a tie and dye meets gold zari number and made it look good through sheer presence.
Then came dinner in the form of a perfectly laid out chicken, five pieces of potatoes lightly flavoured, fragrant plain rice a slice of papad and a sprig dhaniya patta. So that was it. We headed home and Anshuman changed channels on the radio till we reached home. I heard parts of many Hindi, English, Tamil, Telugu and Arabic songs. The man has an attention span of a five year old boy. I love him I swear I do!

And that's yours truly all dressed up and ready to dazzle even if I say so myself!
I'm so vain I think every song is about me, I'm so vaaaaaiin!

Thursday, July 05, 2012


And I'm sick in bed since yesterday with fever, cold, headache and general ache all over. It's hard when you're sick and you have to skip work to lie in bed and do nothing but watch mindless TV. Reading makes my headache worse. Anshuman is still at work and every little noise around the house feels like bombs going off in my head. I miss my mother fussing over me. The worst part about living so far is that at times like this I miss my family so much. I wish my mother was with me. I just spoke to her and she was making chapatis for my father. I remember her hands so well that have comforted me many a times when I've been sick. Needless to say I miss her and I wish she would hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. In her absence I have to tell myself that. Everything is going to be alright.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Bang Bang

So yesterday wasn't the best of days. I scratched someone's car while parking. The guy was a local Arab and didn't yell at me thankfully. I must have apologised 1000 times even before he could open his mouth. The police had to be called and I was given the bad red slip not before the cops and the guy laughed their heart out at my stupidity and the state of my car. My car was much more badly hurt as compared to his car. I spent the evening feeling sick and feverish. I'm still feeling like that and I wish I'd feel better already.

Nancy Sinatra was just singing this song that I like very much and somehow reminds me of the dream I had today. I cannot share the dream today it should suffice to say that it was a happy dream which left me feeling blue. I'm still feverish and my head feels heavy and I should eat something but I don't feel like it. Such days should go by very quickly. Anyways here's Nancy Sinatra with 'Bang Bang'


Bang Bang

I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played and people sang
Just for me the church bells rang.

Now he's gone, I don't know why
And 'till this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Personality tests

So I was reading the book Quiet by Susan Cain and she writes so well and in such an interesting manner that it's actually fun to read a non fiction book. This is the first non fiction book I've read aside from books about Tarot and school books of course. She talks often about the Myers-Briggs test so I decided to take it online. Here are the results

Introvert(67%)  Sensing(1%)  Feeling(25%)  Perceiving(22)%
You have distinctive preference of Introversion over Extraversion (67%)
You have marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition (1%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (25%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (22%)

"ISFPs often find themselves in occupations that involve communications with customers and/or requiring a good sense of aesthetics, for example, in customer support roles, store sales associate roles (where it is not required to sell aggressively). Child care is also a favourable to ISFPs area. Working with data and spreadsheets is also suitable. ISFPs are able to realize their aesthetic abilities in arts, design and creative media companies." Oh thank you so much for throwing in media companies or else I would have had to find another occupation.

Famous Personalities Sharing Your Type

Princess Diana, the Princess of Wales
J.K. Rowling, a novelist, the author of the Harry Potter fantasy
John Lennon, a musician and singer-songwriter
Florence Nightingale, the pioneer in nursing

Hmmm... I don't know. I have my reservations about any test that categorises you so categorically and throws up names of people who are like you. I'm neither a fan of JK Rowling nor the Beatles, know very little about Florence Nightingale and Princess Diana was just tragic. I think the test is crap. It was fun to answer the questions though. If interested you can click on the following link and figure out if you're like Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes.



Monday, July 02, 2012

Us against the world

It's a Coldplay morning. I love Chris Martin's voice and Coldplay's music. 'Us against the world' is a song from their latest album Mylo Xyloto. Things are calm at work as the holy month of Ramadan approaches. The double issue will be released a few days later than usual. In other news L'Oreal sent me three anti ageing products for review. Usually when I get stuff from beauty companies I distribute it to everyone in office but I'm the oldest the office so I'm keepin' them. I will be sure to let you know if I begin to look 20 years younger in a month's time.

In almost all of Coldplay's videos Chris Martin walks towards the camera singing his song. Hmmm... I wonder if he is unable to do anything else or the songs are such that they are best sung while walking. In any case here's "Us against the world"


Us against the world
By Coldplay
(Just the last stanza this time. Enjoy!)

And if we could float away,
Fly up to the surface and just start again,
And lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Cheese sandwich and Zatar Croissant

with a cup of coffee and I'm wide awake trying to edit a book. I had ordered a book and I forgot about it. It came today. It's called Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking by Susan Cain. I usually never go to the extent of ordering a book online but this one I really wanted to read. I just finished a few pages and it's really interesting to see how the society favours the extroverted while being an introvert seems to be come a problem and in some cases a stigma. I saw a video of this woman talking about the book and I knew I had to read it because I could relate to so many things that she said. And now as I read the book it's helpful in understanding a few things about myself. As Jung, the renowned psychologist said of the two personality types,"No one is a complete extrovert or introvert. If such a person existed they would be in a mental asylum" So there are degrees of the two in everyone and one should nurture the qualities that one finds most enriching to them. I don't know if I'm making sense. You have to read the book. Here's the video that inspired me to read the book.