Wednesday, October 29, 2008

unfinished post

I just found this half written post which simply says -A quiet dirt road Why did I write that? I have no idea. I think it's like reading your diary and getting confused about what you could possibly have been thinking when you scribbled some strange thing. People have a habit of signing their name on pieces of paper. Some people overwrite till the letters become fat and unreadable. Some people write a phrase over and over again. I write these words at least once everyday- ' These things have always been the same, why worry now' They are words from a song called Why worry by Dire Straits. I've been writing them for years and years. It's a good thing to remember. I think. A quiet dirt road hmmmm.... I still can't imagine what the next line could be.

yippi dee yippi doo

I got my tarot cards and two books so yay! The deck is called Thoth Tarot deck and both the books explain the deck. I have been reading one of the books and it's all quite mysterious. even the cards are really amazing, so vibrant and alive with colour and imagery.
It's the most amazing deck i have. so happy.
no work since the morning...i'm sure exactly at 5:30 i will have something to to do. I really like Heart. Their music is so lovely and the woman has a beautiful voice. love it love it love it.

hurting feet

I like cheese croissants and pasta with white sauce. I think white food is better than red food with the exception of Indian food. It was diwali yesterday and we celebrated by lighting candles and diya and did pooja. The pooja consisted of lighting a diya, closing our eyes and saying a silent prayer then Anshuman said this prayer- 'Congratulations Ramji for defeating Rawan. Please give is strength that we may be able to defeat our inner and outer rawanas. Bless Anna-Papa, Mummy-Papa, Mini and Mukul.'
Then I lit the diyas and candles. Then I realised we didn't have tomatoes so I went to Ibn Batutta mall which is the closest mall and has a hypermarket. That's the thing here. It's not like Sharjah where you could call the grocery downstairs and ask for a lone lemon. In a hypermarket you will invariably remember things you need to buy and stuff your shopping cart which is what I did. Then ran after taxis that do not want to take you to Discovery Garden because it is too close.
Finally reached home and cooked. My feet hurt at the end of it all but it was a satisfying hurt and hurting feet feel wonderful in a warm comforter.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Suzanne Vega

I am sure that I have written about her before, posted a picture even. What I wanted to say was that I love the way she writes especially because she is so matter of fact about things which make a normal person emotional and soggy. I wish I could try to be that objective all the time but I am only human with sensitive emotions.
I like one song in particular which is also probably her most famous. She sits in a cafe and describes the scene exactly as she expeirences it and it becomes poetic...only in the last lines she lets on a speck of feeling which becomes so much more effective as compared to a usual love song. Here's the song. Hear it if you get the time

Tom's diner

I am sittingIn the morning
At the diner
On the corner
I am waiting
At the counter
For the man
To pour the coffee
And he fills it
Only halfway
And before
I even argue
He is looking
Out the window
At somebodyComing in
"It is alwaysNice to see you"
Says the man
Behind the counter
To the woman
Who has come in
She is shaking
Her umbrella
And I lookThe other way
As they are kissing
Their hellos
I'm pretending
Not to see them
InsteadI pour the milk
I openUp the paper
There's a story
Of an actor
Who had died
While he was drinking
It was no oneI had heard of
And I'm turning
To the horoscope
And looking
For the funnies
When I'm feeling
Someone watching me
And soI raise my head
There's a woman
On the outside
Looking inside
Does she see me?
No she does not
Really see me
Cause she sees
Her own reflection
And I'm trying
Not to notice
That she's hitching
Up her skirt
And while she's
Straightening her stockings
Her hair
Has gotten wet
Oh, this rain
It will continue
Through the morning
As I'm listening
To the bells
Of the cathedral
I am thinking
Of your voice...
And of the midnight picnic
Once upon a time
Before the rain began...
I finish up my coffee
It's time to catch the train

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Blabber on blog

It's strange how TV and internet changes the quality of life. You end up watching whether you want to or not. And when you have the facility to log on you will invariably log on whether you really want to or not. And you will write about inane stuff on your blog which two and a half people might read. That's ok I like those two and a half people.
So I put up paintings in the house and realised it's been really really long since I painted. I came pretty close several times but then let the feeling pass. I do want to paint but I tire myself just thinking about it. It's easier to blabber on my blog.
Anshuman is whistling downstairs trying to get the dog to listen. She rarely does. Anshuman has a particular kind of whistle so at least she recognises it. On the other hand I can't whistle the same way twice. Anshuman whistles by making an O and then breathing air in. How can anyone do that. I thought everyone blew outwards then I met Anshuman and he showed his appreciation by whistling at me.
The good thing about this house is that it's on the first floor so going up and down is quick. You can see the landscaped gardens from the window. Sometimes when we go to work in the morning the dog looks at us forlornly through the window and I feel so sad but what can I do. I wish someone would pay me to blabber on my blog.

Empty hours

I find my job very easy. All I have to do is write and I like doing that anyway. It's those times when I don't have work that I am completely at a loss. After checking my email 20 times and then checking my facebook profile 40 times I now have no clue how to spend the next 2 and a half hours.
I am expecting a package Barnes and Noble sent via the cheapest mail possible. If you ever order something off the internet make sure you get it on registered mail so that it has what is called a tracking number so that the customes and postal dept people can keep track of where your package is. I ordered the Thoth Tarot deck and two books that explain the deck and now i am thinking it was all a waste.
I have been chasing this deck for a long time now and it is very elusive. My friends have searched for it almost all over Europe and not found it. So finally I ordered it online and it's not here. I am so sad about that. I love tarot decks and collect them passionately. I now have a center table whoch houses them in style (pics soon)
Today I went home during lunch. I take precisely 15 mins to have lunch normally. 9 minutes spent on dessert. Anyway an engineer came from du and connected the cable tv, internet and landline so now we are connected. All the while i kept feeling guilty for being away from office. Office can be quite a mental prison that way and a physical one too in a sense.
And now I've run out of things to say so I say bye bye

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I recently learnt that COB means close of business. Well COB is only an hour and a half away and I am sitting and dreaming about getting a taxi as soon as i step out of the building. The driver being actually happy to drive me home. Me hurrying up the stairs outside the bulding. The door opens instantly without me having to insert the building code. The lift being on the ground floor and opening instantly to welcome me. Taking out my key from the right front pocket of my jeans. Getting to the front door and inserting the key and hearing Ninna bark and sniff at the door. Getting inside with the key and bag in my handtrying to pet Ninna at the same time who is on her hind legs trying desperately to lick my face. Take out food for her which she laps up in a matter of seconds. Taking out her leash as she jumps all over the place. Putting the leash around her neck as she keeps going in circles making it impossible for me. Taking her down and running to the grass patch lest she should pee or poo in front of the building and someone complains to the builder and we have to get rid of her. Ninna running on the grass feeling happy. Return home. Building door is open and lift is on ground floor. I open her leash. She runs to the door of the house and demands to be let in. I let her in. I put water to boil. Cut ginger pieces and put in water. Wash cups. Wash plates. Put milk in boiling water. Wash frying pan. Wash spoons. The milk boils. I get to it in time. Put tea in it. Put gas on sim. Put away plates, cups, frying pan, spoons. Clean kitchen counter and sink. Pour tea. Shower. Change clothes. The tea is at the correct temperature. Get phone. Get tea. Park on the new orange sofa. Ninna sits at my feet. Take a sip of tea and the pain my body melts away. Take Ninna in arms and let her lick face as much as she wants. Call Anshuman.

Back to work

I spent the weekened plus two extra days at home. Dont ask me why. And today I am back to work and I have deadlines and what not though the dessert was lovely as always. I didn't get too much done and I am supposed to be working as I write this. I have realised that the briefs are much longer than the actual copy for an ad. Hmmm...
The post lunch sleepiness is coming over me but i am trying desperately to stay awake. OK I am exagerating. I am wide awake. I am just not working. I will in a bit. I will look out of the window for a while and then I will get back to work. If I worked half as much as I think about it I would be much faster than I am and I am already pretty fast :-)
Ok next post a lil later. ta!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Somewhere as i was floating on the web i found a picture of Gia Carangi. I was so struck by her beauty. She looked real and human and so different from the bunch these days. I got curious and googled her name. She used to be a model in the seventies and early eighties. She is considered by some, the first supermodel. She posed nude often and easily.
She fell in love with her make up woman. They had a stormy relationship. Gia began injecting heroine in her veins. Got addicted. After getting caught with drugs at an airport she was thrown out by her agency. She got into rehab several times, each time falling off the wagon.
She finally died of aids almost bald with her skin falling off.
Such a beautiful woman died at 26. There is something so poignant about early death and at the same time something so morbidly romantic. Marilyn Monroe, Jim Morrison and Ladi Di. Tortured souls, beautiful people. Angelina Jolie played Gia in the movie. Angelina has a tattoo which says-'the thing that nurtures me destroys me'
Why do some people have that destructive streak? Is it the fucked up childhood or is it just the availability of everything and value of nothing? I don't know. I was just attracted to Gia's face cos in some ways it reminded me of my own many years ago. heh (I'm humility herself)

Rob K

I saw The Last Samurai for the nth time yesterday. I was alone at home and it was a pleasure having chai and dinner infront of the tv with Ninna sitting next to me making herself comfortable. Then I did the dishes and the laundry, made the bed and got very tired in general.
So listened to the radio for a while warming my toes in the comforter.
I sent a message to DJ Rob saying I wanted to hear 'China in your hand' by T'pau. And he did play it. I was so happy. Then he read out my message which he thought was funny because i said that i had a remix version of the song which is a disgrace to the original. I was thrilled to bits. I like doing this request thing on the radio although DJ Rob mispronounced my name- Parooool.
Anyhow, felt like staying home and chilling out today but duty calls and here i am hammering the keys.
I have decided to treat this space more as a journal than a collection of well written meaningful pieces. I will now write all sorts of meaningless boring things that happen to me so that ten years from now I will know that I had it good most of the time. What I mean is that meaningless and boring is better than unhappy and stressful. You may disagree Gazal my darling and the only reader left of my blog. heh

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

no sign of life

in the blogular world of six blogs that i follow. not a peep from anyone. hmmm... just an update for my reference at a later date may be ten years from now....that's an idea...if i'm reading this ten years from now i want to tell myself that I just moved from Sharjah to Dubai. My house is in pretty good shape though my paintings have to be put up...shelves in the loo... curtain in the bedroom and small stuff like that and we'll be all set. Anshuman got his license after his sixth test. He can drive pretty well now and today morning he drove me to office for the first time in CK's wrangler. Couldn't help but give him a kiss.
I'd like to tell myself that I am happy and at this moment am listening to my favourite band- dire straits. I work at Leo Burnett and I like it. I have a good job, a good boss and a good life and I hope God will watch over me like he does now for the rest of my life.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

The American Parul

Parula warblers are tiny lil birdies in the south and north America. They have a buzzing song and loud chip calls. There are four kinds of Parula one of them is called flame throated.

Parul is the name of a river in Romania

In Philipines the star on top of the christmas tree is called Parul

Parul is a small white flower part of a famous bangla song- Parul bonda ke...champa something

Last but not the least someone told me Parul means beautiful. heh.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

through the window

4 fat girls walking casually
21 kitchen towels on a trolley
2 workers
2 men with papers
2 buttocks hanging out of a woman's swim suit bottom
1 truck full of cartons
2 more delivery men
1 more truck
3 men dragging small boxes
1 woman reading by the pool
1 chef in high cap
1 Hummer H3
1 woman backing up car then hesitating
1 man in blue carrying box of bananas
1 man in a uniform with tie making circular motion with fingers
1 bored woman sitting by her office window