Thursday, April 14, 2011

the difficulty of happiness

Yes it's a known fact that happiness is difficult, moody, eccentric and sometimes kind and abundant. In the last few days that have been more difficult than most I have realised that I was happy most of the time. The happiness rarely comes from the things that I pursue everyday. It does sometimes, but rarely. Most of the time it comes from an inner place that I feel connected to. This place is like a garden where my dreams and hopes and desires live and are nurtured by the people who truly love me and myself. It is a place which brings complete emotional security that is a product of sheer love and hope. It has very little to do with the daily circle of actions and reactions of the physical life.
Last few days have been so interesting because I could have been feeling rather sad most of the time but I wasn't. I felt as though I was connected to my inner life, my inner happiness and a vision of a future in which I saw happiness as more or less a permanent resident. I could preach to you and tell you that everyone has this inner place within themselves. Honestly, I don't know. And moreover even though I have found this place, it is not easy to keep in touch with this thing we call happiness. Like I said it is difficult and an illusion. An illusion that can sometimes define your future itself. So today when you look at someone you love remember to tell them this,"Thank you for living in my inner garden of happiness."
And yet, it's so difficult this happiness. Sometimes you can swim to the core of your soul and not find it. Sometimes it bursts forth like a spring through your being.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Getting to know an old song

Sometimes you hear a song but you don't really hear it. The notes only touch the surface of your skin. And then one day after hearing the same song many times before suddenly there comes a new clarity to the words. The music finally gets absorbed in the pores and begins to flow through your blood. You begin to understand the lyricist a little bit. May be this happens because you need tobe in a certain place in your life for your soul to open up to certain words strung through music.
I've been listening to 'Private Investigations' by Dire Straits for a long time now but these days it moves me like it has never done before. I get lost in the voice and the words. I write this as I'm listening to it. It's sad but somehow rings of reality and truth that most of us try to avoid, by getting busy. With chores, work, life, whatever. I'm not saying don't be busy, I'm just saying let your soul feed on a song sometimes.Here are the lyrics that are touching me these days. Knopfler's voice itself is a song, even when he is just speaking.

Private Investigations
Lyrics- Mark Knopfler

It's a mystery to me, the game commences
For the usual fee, plus expenses
Confidential information, it's in a diary
This is my investigation,it's not a public inquiry
I go checking out the reports, digging up the dirt
You get to meet all sorts, in this line of work
Treachery and treason, there's always an excuse for it
And when I find the reason, I still can't get used to it
And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whiskey and a new set of lies
Blinds on the window and the pain behind your eyes
Scarred for life, no compensation
Private investigations

And the song ends as I finish this post.