Monday, September 27, 2010


another one :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

getting ready

make up is a mood lifter i think. the days i feel particularly shitty i apply make up and somehow it feels a lot better. then i take a few pictures because i'm rather vain. so here's one of them. and oh i stopped writing again.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A lovely beginning

So I finally started writing my story and honestly it feels good, not so scary anymore. I convinced myself that I never have to show it to anyone if I don't want to and suddenly the pressure lifted and two lovely lines flowed through. I'm happy and I feel light because I know it's just a matter of making a beginning and the rest will fall in place.

There is such a world of difference between writing a blog and attempting to pen a story. The former is spontaneous and the latter so deliberate. Both have their own 'rasa' and I love both. So a pat on my back for finally makinmg an attempt.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Sallu Bhai

Just saw Dabangg and I must say Sallu can actually be quite funny at times. I expected a truly terrible film but it surprised me by being just about OK. All is quiet around me because when I switch off the TV from the main switch no one can be bothered to switch it on again. Silence is nice. Everyone should have at least some during the day.
I'm sad to report that I am yet to write the second page of my story. I longingly look at the first page every now and then... that's it I just look.
Ninna is asleep. Dogs sleep a lot I must say. She is refusing to eat anything today. She does that once in a while and then I have to feed her by hand literally. I know I spoil her but then she spoils me rotten with all the love and general entertainment that goes along with having a French Bulldog. I luuuurve her.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

The Anshuman

The Anshuman is a peculiar man. He has long conversations with himself about future conversations he might have with people I about whom I have no clue. He reads at least three books at a time but my guess is what he really enjoys are the Amar Chitra Kathas that I buy for him. He is extremely intelligent which makes it extremely difficult to manipulate him. It works for him but sometimes doesn't work for me. It certainly works for his clients and thank God for that.
He loves animals and knows the names and general habits of many birds. Many a time he points out a bird and tells me it's name and if it's boy or a girl and somehow I find that very romantic. I have been to two tarot readers and a psychic who have told me that we are soulmates. Everytime I come home and tell Anshuman what they said he replies-'I could have told you that.' But you see it's nice when someone else tells you.
Anshuman loves his cricket. It's a passion. Not a day goes by when he doesn't declare to himself-' Aaaand Anshuman hit six sixes!' and then goes on to hit a six in the air with a flourish. It never fails to make me smile. Sometimes I think that may be he should have been a cricketer, at other times may be a wildlife photographer or even a travel writer.
I love his stories and he tells them so well in the printed as well as the spoken word.
Some time ago I used to have trouble sleeping at night and most nights he would spin a new yarn for me. The stories were always funny and I relaxed and fell asleep.
He is generous to a fault and loves to feed his friends some excellent biryani and other animals. His energy is infectious and it never fails to lift me out of my darkest moods. No matter how much I resist he has the tenacity to make sure I get over my silly fears and learn stuff like driving and swimming. I'm always thankful for that.
He always gives me a pretty stone everytime we go to the beach and says-' with this I thee wed' I like his sense of romance. He's innovative and surprising and wonderful and do I have to say it? I love him.

The story

I wrote one page a few years back. I loved it. It was supposed to be a long project. A long story and I never got beyond the first page. I have imagined the second page thousands of times. There are various scenarios in my mind and none of them sound as good as the first page.
I am not a big fan of my own writing. It's ok. It's not bad but it's not great either but I love this one page. I believe it is really good and everytime I read it I get excited and I am itching to write the next one and yet something stops me. Some invisible force tells me I'll never do justice to it. I get a little scared and then I get petrified and then I freeze and that one page sits still in a folder within a folder so that I would not come across it easily.
This time I have put it on the desktop so that may be I will someday have the courage to proceed further than that one page that will mock me everyday when I open my laptop.
Why do I not write? what is this invisible force? Where is my self confidence? Do I need a self help book? Jeeez!