Sunday, October 09, 2005

huna huna huna

Again I sit here wanting to write something... so many things come to mind... I want to write all of them at once but I cannot. I have to go and perform a sacred ceremony. It is a ceremony for making peace with the planets before you move into a home. I will perform it along with my husband. I have been part of this ceremony before when it was performed for my husband's aunt's house. I loved filling out the various colours for the different planets on the floor and the pundit ji explained the significance of all the colours. Married couples are supposed to do this puja and I will wear my bridal chunni after a little over five years. My mother chose it for me with a lot of love and care from a small shop in Lajpat Nagar in Delhi. I miss my mother and I wonder what she is doing right now. I wouldn't be surprised if she calls in about one minute's time. She has an immense sixth sense where I'm concerned. It amazes me many times. I believe most mothers have this quality. Sometimes I want to thank her for all that she has done for me over the years but I will feel like a fool if I even tried and she will be confused. But I want to thank her anyway for giving me birth and for keeping me alive.
I slept for an hour in the morning and managed to have a dream within that hour. My mind refuses to stop talking to me. My friends tell me I should try doing meditation to get rid of the chatter in my head. I like the chatter and with rare exceptions I love the dreams so I don't meditate.
For some reason the left and right clicks on the mouse have been interchanged. This also has happened before. Everyone got so used to it that when we eventually got a new one it felt weird for some time.
I think I need new lenses because the ones I wear now are getting foggier by the day and I can't see very well. For those of you who don't know I am terribly short sighted. I need glasses first thing in the morning. I wear lenses when I go out of the house or have my picture taken. Stupid useless vanity I guess.
For sometime I stopped wearing all jewellery aside from my watch and engagement ring. I felt lighter. I'm wearing diamonds today that my father chose with love and care to give me at my wedding. I cherish these tiny rocks. I don't know why I feel so awfully sentimental today. I remember when my father taught me to drive and I fought with him . I swore I would never learn from him again. He taught me anyway. I still don't drive but that's just because of my lack of practice. I was forever afraid to step on to an escalator. He took me up yelling and screaming anyway. I still avoid the escalator but sometimes I go up on it just to prove to myself that I can do it. I feel like thanking him too but again I will feel foolish and he will break into a booming laughter.
That's another thing he gave me which I cherish - a booming laughter. I want to thank him anyway for never expecting me to be successful and buying me a pair of black suede shoes with gold buckles way beyond his means.
Paul Young comes to mind
You can live in the love of the common people
that smiles from the heart of a family man.
Daddy's gonna buy you a dream to cling to,
Mama's gonna love you just as much as she can
and she can.
HMMMM.... huna huna huna


anshuman said...

The dreams will persist even if you meditate. In fact they might become even more furtive. Meditation is a means of being in touch with yourself so in all likelyhood it would be fodder for A1 quality dreams. Take it from one who does not dream and is not able to remember the bits and flashes that my subconscious rolls out.

anshuman said...

Always thought that furtive meant vivid. Thats what its supposed to mean in my comment above.