Sad eyed lady

Sometimes the lips smile but the eyes don't. I don't know why that is but it seems like that in this picture even though I love it!

Words not required

Dylan

                            So for the longest time I've hated Dylan and I think it has a lot to do with his nasal voice. Anshuman on the other had loves Dylan's music. I've had many a fights with him because I find Dylan to be a sarcastic bitchy guy at best. Then I thought if so many people love his lyrics so much I'm sure I will find a song which I like so I read through many of his songs and came up trumps with this one - Trust Yourself. It's a great song and even though I haven't heard Dylan sing it, it makes sense to me.

Trust yourself,
Trust yourself to do the things that only you know best
Trust yourself
Trust yourself to do what's right and not be second-guessed
Don't trust me to show you beauty
When beauty may only turn to rust
If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

Trust yourself
Trust yourself to know the way that will prove true in the end
Trust yourself
Trust yourself to find the path where there is no if and when
Don't trust me to show you the truth
When the truth may only be ashes and dust
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

Well, you're on your own, you always were
In a land of wolves and thieves
Don't put your hope in ungodly man
Or be a slave to what somebody else believes.

Trust yourself
And you won't be disappointed when vain people let you down
Trust yourself
And look not for answers where no answers can be found
Don't trust me to show you love
When my love may be only lust
If you want somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

You, you got to trust yourself ....

Sushmita and I

This picture was taken when I was about 14 years old. That girl with me is Sushmita. She's the same age as me or may be a year younger and now lives in Bengaluru. So this was clicked at a neighour's house. This Aunty who had a son and a daughter. I remember her son very well. He was about 6 years old then and the devil himself. He would go to the market and if he wasn't given exactly what he wanted when he wanted it he would lie on the floor and scream till the hapless woman simply had to give in. He is also the only boy who I ever saw eating Parle G biscuits dipped in water. He regularly flunked his classes while his little sister regularly stood at the top of her class. Sometimes I wonder why that was... may be it was the regular thrashings he got from his dad. Who knows.

Sushmita and I met when she moved to Mayur Vihar with her family and joined my school. We were great friends and spent a lot of good times together. I think I spent a better part of my childhood and teens in her house. Our moms are great friends to this day. She has the coolest mother. I remember we used to play Table Tennis on her dining table. Once we had a big fight while playing. Voices were raised in anger and her mom sat peacefully and waited for us to sort out our own problems. She never interfered. I loved that about her. Will need to talk a bit more about her but another time.

So coming back to the picture. This dress was also one of my favourites and I wore it for the longest time. Those big white ear rings are plastic clip ons. I think I had them in almost all colours possible!! And although you can't see it I'm probably wearing my mother's HMT watch. I loved that watch. This journey backwards is just so sweet.

The Bathroom Mirror

So this picture was taken at our first Massmedia Publishing office bathroom. Our office back then was a small loft office and the bathroom was right in the middle. It was circular and the walls were some PVC type material and everyone could hear when you flushed or made embarrassing noises BUT it had excellent lighting. Every time I took a picture in that bathroom 5 times out of 10 I looked great. Hey that's a great statistic. I love my eyes. They're so lovely and trusting like a five year old's. I'm joking! I'm joking! No seriously beautiful eyes I say!

The yellow dress

So let me introduce you to Parul Gahlot 16 years old in her favourite dress.This yellow chiffon dress was my favourite for the longest time. I remember there was a very sweet Sikh lady who used to make these dresses. She made quite a few similar ones for me but this was my favourite and if I remember correctly my mother loved it too. So I'm 16 years old and I've come to collect my admission ticket for my board exam which is why I'm standing outside the administrative block at the end of the ramp daintily holding the leaf of the tree.

 I remember I had a friend much older than me who was married and had a kid. He invited me to a party at his home and I wore this dress. I remember it had a lovely big bow at the back and the front was adorned with embroidered chiffon flowers in the same colour. How I loved this dress. I hope my mother still has it. So coming back to the party this friend of mine introduced me to his guests as Miss Apeejay School. I was in 10th standard and I flustered at that false introduction but nevertheless felt quite happy. It was the first party I ever went to and had a lovely time dancing with my friend's five year old son who was allowed to stay up as late as he liked.

Sigh... how I miss being 16 sometimes and going to my first party and insisting on getting back home at 9:30. Now I can stay out as late as I want but there's no yellow dress with a bow and flowers and I'm two decades older than this girl in the picture. But that's a good thing nevertheless!

So vain

Here's another picture that I love. It's beautiful how the spherical light looks like a full moon. How I love the full moon. I think it's one of those days when you love everything around you. My days are mostly like that so let me take a moment to thank all the people who make it so! Thank you life, I love you!!

Vanity Board

Someone once told me many years ago to love myself. When I look at this blog sometimes I feel like it is a testament to how much I really love myself. It's all about me me me. My pictures, my poems, my opinions, my raves and my rants and I'm happy to declare that I love all of it! So adding to my Vanity Board here's a picture of myself that I'm in love with!

Before and After

dusts of time

they can soothe you or get in your eyes. Time is such an unusual creature. Philosophers and scientists have poured over books and experimented with it and yet I doubt that they've come to any definite understanding of the beast we call time. Time tends to decrease the value of certain things and increase the value of others. The interesting thing is that the same holds true of people.

Sometimes a friendship begins with a singular spark and you feel at ease and incredibly uncomfortable with the other person in turns. As time goes by sometimes the comfort wins and sometimes the element of space walks in stealthily and before you realise it the relationship becomes unnecessary, even defunct.

Sometimes you are responsible for introducing the space and sometimes the other person. The worst is when the other person is trying to cut across the natural progression of time, space and death of the association. Then pressure comes in to play 'nice'. The pressure of being 'nice'. Should you be nice? or shouldn't you be nice? There is a certain secret pleasure in being the object of desire but it is transitory and at the end of a usually stipulated period of time has passed by all that you are left with is an annoying feeling of being annoyed.

In the other scenario which is normally responsible for the creation of our all time favourite songs the space is introduced by the other person. Suddenly space becomes a gargantuan thing you cannot seem to cross and time becomes your worst enemy. Under these circumstances you apply pressure on the other person sometimes without even realising it. The space increases and interaction time decreases. A few tears are shed. Gods are cursed. The other person is cursed. His or her generations to come are cursed. And then the most beautiful character of the beast I have come to love takes over.

No matter how much you try you are unable to change what time does to you. And if you're even a little bit wise you understand that this is the whole point of living through time.

You are not playing with your time. Time is playing with you. The good thing is He is a tender beast and even though you don't realise it, He is holding you very very close to his heart full of old love songs and many many joys.

Sometimes

I fall in love with an idea of the past...

The title of my dream

When will this dream come true? I'm working on it! I'm working on it!

Loving Bardot

Absolutely the sexiest woman ever! Love Bardot

Peace

A white flower and few organic leaves
Under the protection of my angel
Crystal globe encircled by light
peace reigns

On a date

At the Thitara restaurant by the Dubai fountain. The beauty of water and the fire lanterns made for a memorable date with the man I love. Anshuman went ahead and opened doors and was a true gentleman on our lovely date. I could get used to this!

Happy happy happy

and then there are days that are just amazingly happy, filled with sunshine and a lovely brilliance. i love such days. On such days happy songs like 'Rio' should be sung along with. These are the days when you just have to blast the car stereo and pull your windows down and hope to annoy a few people. Or go to the mall and smile at harried people running after their kids. I know that one is a bit mean but well intentioned nevertheless. I love kids as a matter of fact and I love them in the malls especially. They have no care in the world and the whole world is a kaleidoscope of sounds and colours to be explored and preferably touched or kept in the mouth.

Some mothers are ultra cool though I have to say. I saw one standing by and watching her one and a half year old wiping the floor with his palms and having a great time of it. I did stop and ask the boy (it had to be a boy) what he was doing and he gave me a gummy smile which clearly said, "I have no idea but I like doing it" so 10 on 10 to the mom for patiently standing by and waiting for her beloved sun to finish mucking up his hands so that she could take him to the restroom and get them washed clean. And hope that they will remain clean for a decent length of time.

Then there was this little girl all of three or four years old who was wearing shorts and cowboy boots and walking around like she owned the place. Such amazing attitude at such a young age. I walked behind her for a while just to observe how completely adorable she was.

So coming back to the subject of happy days. I think I'm also happy because the magazine has been sent to print and it's a fairly easy day. And my evening is set with a cricket match, tea and cookies, sugarless ofcourse. Recently I was diagnosed with diabetes so all sugary sweet stuff is out. I'm so sweet I was bound to get diabetes sooner or later. Damn sad joke. But I like it nonetheless. Why? cos it's a happy happy day!!

Go find someone to smile with!

Partying hard!

With Dina al Faris the gorgeous at Armani Prive! Fabulous night with fabulous people :)