The tears of a woman

I don't know how to begin this... as my tears are blurring the words... and when you don't know how to say something very well it helps to tell a story... this one is true.

Once a close friend and I were talking about how she finally moved on from a broken relationship. Even today as I attempt to write the words she spoke that night my heart aches for her inconsolable grief. She's more than a decade younger than me but in some ways she's an old soul.

As we sat one night on a bench by the creek she said,"This is where he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. You know for the longest time I just couldn't move on. I cried and I prayed to all the Gods but the longing to hear just one word from him was still killing me. Finally one day I convinced myself that he was dead and that's when I had some peace." She did not say it with anger actually wishing that he was dead. She said it because all she wanted was to forget him, to not hurt anymore and to stop the tears from falling.

Yesterday I found a piece of music that instantly touched my heart and this morning it has been playing over and over. It has broken my heart into a thousand pieces and I feel like the sharp corners are buried into my eyes as the tears fall freely sometimes ending their journey between my lips. Isn't it a miracle the way a simple piece of folk music set to bagpipes and a lonely flute pierces your soul like nothing has ever done before. Stefka Sabotinova kills me with her raw haunting voice and I want to stop listening to her because if she keeps singing to me, I will never stop crying like a little girl.

Here she is...

Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares - Mir Stanke le