Thursday, June 14, 2012

In general

Most of the time I start by choosing a title for my posts but most of the time the actual writing tends to veer off course. So I haven't named this one. I'm tempted to begin numbering the posts and not title them at all but that would be so boring for my children to read when I'm dead and gone.

Do you ever get the feeling that you want to say something but you're not sure what it is? I get that feeling sometimes when I know that I need to write something but when I get to the page I have no words. Words can be like that, like people. They can leave very suddenly without warning. The good thing is that although people sometimes don't return, words always find their way back.

Last night as I was almost falling asleep I felt like writing but getting out of bed didn't seem like an appetizing idea at the time so I lay there thinking about what I would have written if I wasn't a lazy ass. I like the dark night. The time when you've just switched off the night light and everyone is asleep and you feel like the only person in the world who lies awake. It's not a lonely place as one would imagine. It's a comfortable warm place in which the last few thoughts of the day float in and out of the mind. It's a time of comforting noises like the dog snoring and making noises in her sleep. Sometimes I lie and think about my toes getting warm. It's a silly thought but never fails to invite sleep.

And then the cinema in my mind begins. I think I begin dreaming from the moment I fall asleep. Last night I was wonderfully happy when I fell asleep but then suddenly woke up crying. For the first time there was an actual tear on my cheek and I continued crying after waking up. My sweet husband woke up, tried to soothe my nightmare and then in the middle of soothing me, fell asleep again. By then I was clear in my mind that I had just seen a bad dream. I hugged and kissed Ninna and she gave me a sleepy little lick on the cheek. I slept.

The morning was really lovely with Lana Del Rey's song 'Radio'. Like I've said before I love the woman's voice. Anshuman hates it and finds it morose. I hate Dylan so I suppose we're even. He called and I had to leave this post and went out for a lovely lunch with him to this place called Jones the Grocer. Really nice place and lovely food. He's taking me out on a date in a spanking new Porsche Panamera tonight so the beginning of the long weekend is looking good baby! We were sitting in the restaurant and he was asking me yet again about what I want for my birthday which is around the corner. I don't want to tell him. So finally he declared that our lunch today was my birthday gift, took out his wallet and said," I don't have any money!" I couldn't stop laughing for the next five minutes. The small joys of being married. I'm still smiling thinking about it. So I paid for my birthday lunch and he dropped me back. I'm pretty sure I want a birthday present, if only I knew what I wanted... sigh.

It's the Accounts lady Edylyn's birthday today so there's going to be cake and even though I'm supposed to lay off sweets I'll probably end up having a small piece. I love birthdays in general. They're always a happy event. Everyone comes together and sings. If only one wasn't getting older it would be sheer perfection but then again I wouldn't want to remain the same age year after year. I do want to grow older and hopefully wiser. Enjoy each and every stage of life. How I love life!


soulitude said...

Lovely post from start to end! I love the second para. By now Iv forgotten what it is and will have to reread it but if I go back now I will have to redo the whole 'prove ur not a robot bit' and thats not so exciting! And yes I love the bday lunch bit. Thats so sweet! Lets do this Il tel Anshuman what I want as a bday gift and since u owe me one he can give it to me and we're even ;) Hugs to u for ur nightmare. Like they say it was only a bad dream! Im somehow not in my best spirits now so this post def made me feel nice. Its so U and so much from the heart along with being so positive :) Way to go girl! I like everyone else's birthday but somehow for my own I feel like always running away somewhere. I dunno what the deal is but I always feel like goin undercover for my happy birday! I know its not about age or growing old etc! I hope that changes someday and I look fwd to my own happy day! And Im so happy about ur date tonite. Just make sure u check Anshu the man's wallet before leaving for dinner ;)

U know me said...

Just read this post. Hahaha, that bday lunch thing was hilarious! Experienced something so similar to that & one is so tempted to get PISSED off but just cant !! :)

Have a happy weekend :)