Mornings

Sometimes mornings can set the mood for the rest of the day. I kept dreaming all this morning. The police were at my friend's house looking for something. I think it was money. She and I had stolen it and I was trying to find places to hide it without letting the two cops find out. The sheer guilt in the dream was overwhelming. The cops turned the house inside out as my friend, her mom and I stood looking helplessly. I felt sick with the apprehension that we would be found out but we never were.  Then I woke up and went back to sleep again. The dream began again and this time the same friend and I were hiding drugs and the police were turning her house upside down and I had the chance to get out. But I didn't. I didn't want my friend to face the music alone. Both of us stood around trying to look like we were unaffected. I was nervous as hell and I knew that if the drugs were found I was in big trouble.

I woke up feeling strangely sad and somehow haven't been able to shake the feeling. My psychotherapist friend would love to analyse the dream and give me advice but I've forbidden her to do that much to her chagrin. I need to listen to some peppy music and change the mood. Coldplay's "Rush of blood to the head" is not helping but I do love the song so it's on repeat and I like it that way. I amaze myself sometimes. I mean how many times can you hear the same song over and over again?

Addictions come in all forms. Some of them are benign and the rest should be cut off like a limb with gangrene before it poisons the whole body.