in love

to me falling in love has never just been about a man. I've fallen in love with books, music and movies just as much. I feel the same heartache when I hear a song that I might have felt if I was actually falling in love for the first time.At every stage in life there has been a song and I have been in love with the song much more than I have been with the man. It seems to belittle the man but actually I can't help it. The emotions of a recorded voice can move you to fall in love and even do silly things like dance with yourself...alone and happy and the man you're in love with becomes a hazy image limited to an image of the dream you have of him . And then there's the fact that songs, books and movies last for life while a man may or may not. I know this sounds callous but I think it's also true.
Sometimes writers say things in a way that makes you want to believe them. You know that it's just a song or it's just a line in a book but something within your heart wants to believe there's a truth within the words somewhere. I have so much respect for composers, they understand a language that is not only universal, it is also the sweetest of them all. They weave notes that become a part of your heart for eternity and it doesn't matter when you hear the song, that part of your heart comes alive, it aches. it sings and sometimes it dances to a tune it has known for years and years.
Falling in love has so much to do with the song you listen to over and over again till a memory becomes indelible on the notes and then you may try to do away with the memory and listen purely to the words and the notes dispassionately but it takes a long time before you can do that. It's like getting over a deep trauma. Only time can heal you and no amount of objectivity and reality checks will get you through the pain of falling in love with a song.